That Episode That Came First

That Episode That Came First is the pilot episode of Kirby's Ridiculous Adventures. It is expected to air in July 2013.

Basic Summary
TBA

Transcript
(We cut to Yirby’s house)

Yirby: Ahh..what a peaceful morni-

(Door knock)

Yirby: Coming!

(Yirby opens the door, and sees Kirby)

Yirby: Kirby? I-Is that you!

Kirby: I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me. I’m pink, I’m round. *Grabs a beer bottle, sucks it up, and gains a beer ability*

Kirby: And I can gain powerful abil-*feels glass coming down his throat* HOLYSHITTHATWASABADIDEA*passes out*

Yirby: Dude, I haven’t seen you since college! What’s up?

(Silence because Kirby passed out)

Yirby: You okay?

(Silence again)

Yirby:….*kicks Kirby*

(We cut to Kirby sitting on Yirby’s couch with an ice pack on his head)

Yirby: So, what have you been doing since college?

Kirby: Living on the streets, drinking beer, mooching off strangers, drinking beer, attempting to rob people, drinking beer, A-

Yirby: *interrupts* Wait. You have no place to live?

Kirby: Pretty much. My parents moved back to Dream Land and I have no idea where the f*** my relatives are. Probably trying to get far away from me as possible.

Yirby: Wow.

Kirby: I know. Got any beer?

Yirby: No.

Kirby: *grabs Yirby and points a gun at his head* I’m sorry, what was that?

Yirby: I don’t have any beer.

Kirby: You’re tempting me to shoot.

Yirby: *Sighs* Fine, I’ll buy beer for you.

Kirby: Good. *points two guns at Yirby* Buy TWO.

Yirby: Finnneee…..*exits the house*

(Is about to go into the car, when he realizes that the car isn’t there)

Yirby: Eh?

(Looks around and sees the car crashed into the neighbor’s house)

Yirby: Oh crap! The neighbor’s gonna be pissed!

(Yirby sees note on the ground)

(Note Reads: Dear Yirby. In the past miller second, I went to see if I could still drive. Evidently not. Sincerely, Kirby.)

(Pinkie Pie walks out of the house)

Yirby: Double crap! She’s gonna notice!

(Yirby tries to sneak around the neighbor’s house)

Pinkie Pie: HEY! ASSWHIPE!

Yirby: *sighs* Hello, Pinkie. What appears to be the problem?

Pinkie Pie: I’LL TELL YA WHAT THE PROBLEM IS! *Holds up a gallon of milk* I CAN’T OPEN THIS F***ING MILK GALLON!

Yirby: Uhh…sorry about’ your luck?

Pinkie Pie: OH, AND THERE’S THIS CAR IN MY HOUSE. I’M KEEPING IT. IT’S A GOOD DECORATION.

(Pinkie Pie walks back into teh house)

Yirby: *Sighs* There goes my car..

(Yirby continues to walk)

(Meanwhile)

(Kirby is sitting watching TV)

Kirby: Ugh. Nothin’ to watch.

(Door knock)

(Kirby opens the door)

(Nigel is at the door)

Kirby: Got any beer?

Nigel: Noooo…who are you?

Kirby: George Freaking Washing, no duh!

Nigel:….

Kirby: Okay, fine, I’m Kirby. Yirby’s friend from college.

Nigel: Oh. Got any hookers?

Kirby: What?!

Nigel: I said: “Got.Any.Hookers?”

Kirby: No….why do you ask?

Nigel: Oh, no reason….got any p**n?

(Kirby slams the door)

Kirby: Pervert.

(Meanwhile)

(Yirby reaches the Gas Station)

Yirby: Hopefully they have beer here.

(Yirby enters the Gas Station)

Random Person: WELCOME TO THE MAGICAL GAS STATION LAND!

Yirby: What the?

Random Person: WHERE YOU WILL FIND: SODA,SNACKS,AND MOAR!

Yirby: Okkkayy…th-

Random Person: AND BEER! REEB! ASHASHUHA

Yirby:…*Walks into the beer section of the Gas Station*

Yirby: Wow. They’ve got lots of beer here. I wonder which one Kirby wa-

(Kirby suddenly appears)

Kirby: ANY WILL DO!

(Kirby vanishes)

Yirby:…Okkkayyy…

(Yirby grabs a beer container and walks up to the register)

Yirby: Hello, I would like to buy t-

(A random person enters the store with a gun)

Random Person: THIS IS A ROBBERY! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR!

(The customers get down on the floor)

Yirby: Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap.

(Meanwhile)

(Kirby is watching TV)

Kirby: This sitcom is good. It’s got a lot of well-developed characters.

(Nigel suddenly appears)

Nigel: It sure does.

Kirby: What the f***topus? When did you get here?

Nigel: About 3 seconds ago.

Kirby: Get out.

Nigel: Nah.

Kirby: Get out.

Nigel: Nah.

(Kirby grabs a gun)

Kirby: Get.Out.

(Nigel grabs a bazooka)

Nigel: Nah.

Kirby:…Aw, S**** you win.

(Kirby sits on the couch with a pouty face)

(News suddenly comes on)

Kirby and Nigel: What the?

Anchorman: We interrupt your program to bring you breaking news. A hostage situation is currently taking place at the Gassy Gas Gas Station.

Kirby: Oh crap, that’s where Yirby is!

Nigel: We gotta save him!

Kirby: To the Car Mobile!

(Kirby and Nigel run outside, get into the Yirby’s car which is still stuck to the neighbor’s house, and drives away)

Pinkie Pie: HEY! MY DECORATION!

(Meanwhile)

(The Police are outside the gas station)

Cop: COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS U-

(Robber shoots the cop and he falls to the floor)

(Awkward silence)

Cop #2: COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS U-

(Robber shoots the other cop and he falls to the floor)

Sheriff: Dammit, all of our greatest cops are being shot!

(Kirby and Nigel crash the car into the ground and get out)

Kirby: I SHALL SOLVE THIS!

Nigel: I'M PUTTING MYSELF IN DANGER!

Sheriff: You two aren’t cops!

Kirby: I CAN FIX THAT!

(Kirby grabs a random part from the car and writes “Cop” on it)

Kirby: HERE.

Police Officer: Huh.

Nigel: LET US SOLVE THIS!

(The two kirbies walk into the store)

Nigel: HEY Y-

(The Robber shoots Nigel in the head)

(Nigel falls to the floor)

Kirby:….Dude, what the f***?

Robber: GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

Kirby: Nah.

Robber: DO IT! OR I’LL SHOOT!

Kirby: Hmmmm….mmmm….mmnah.

Robber: GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR OR I WILL SHOOT YOUR GODDAMN HEAD OFF!

Kirby: No thanks.

Robber: AGGH! *Shoots*

(Kirby swallows the bullet)

Robber: What the F?

Kirby: *swallows bullet and turns into a Bullet Bill from Mario*

Kirby: UMad?

Robber: Crap.

(Kirby rams into the robber)

Robber: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWO *explodes*

(Kirby returns to normal)

Kirby: I SAVED THE D-

(Police ram into Kirby)

Police: YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR IMPERSONATING A POLICE OFFICER.

Kirby: But I just saved all your asses!

(Screen immediatley cuts to Kirby in jail)

Kirby: F***

(The doors suddenly open on Kirby's cell)

Police: Some yellow puffball bailed you out.

Yirby: You owe m-

Kirby: No, you owe ME! I just saved your ass back at the gas station!

Yirby: Ugh fine, what do you wan-

Kirby: I wanna live in that old garage you never use.

Yirby: I don't think s-

(Kirby shoots Yirby and Yirby falls to the floor)

Kirby:...Why do I do these things.

(Credits roll)